Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
