My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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