My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
where am i from again
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
