if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
