I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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