Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
