Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i wish my penis had a tongue
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
soo... how was my night?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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