The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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