is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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