you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
