Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
