if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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