"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
