I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
