Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
