3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
love makes seman taste better
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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