Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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