you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
