I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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