Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
