He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
