East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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