so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
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I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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