I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
