how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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