Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Shame is for Republicans.
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