Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
