On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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