I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
