hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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