I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
