Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
