the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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