just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
