cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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