I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
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I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You coming home soon, man?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
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I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.