I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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