I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.