Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.

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  (405): I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation. http://tfl.nu/os3u
  Replies (13) Good night (4554) Bad night (1233)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  He wasn't the only one with a full load.

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  (508): He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket... (1-508): He wasn't the only one with a full load. http://tfl.nu/y8kb
  Replies (24) Good night (6383) Bad night (1152)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.

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  (843): I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it. http://tfl.nu/atu5
  Replies (16) Good night (5877) Bad night (656)
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  (+82): View more from

  I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.

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  (+82): I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes. http://tfl.nu/b0wk
  Replies (24) Good night (1058) Bad night (7494)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.

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  (508): I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals. http://tfl.nu/elpv
  Replies (3) Good night (2821) Bad night (777)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.

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  (402): At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar. http://tfl.nu/wx7w
  Replies (3) Good night (1441) Bad night (653)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night

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  (614): Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night http://tfl.nu/qw5j
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (767)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.

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  (860): My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck. http://tfl.nu/363f
  Replies (11) Good night (1806) Bad night (635)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i have an important question...can you drink in jail?

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  (412): i have an important question...can you drink in jail? http://tfl.nu/ntk5
  Replies (9) Good night (660) Bad night (1068)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury

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  (301): Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury http://tfl.nu/pv7s
  Replies (3) Good night (603) Bad night (1126)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine

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  (720): Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine http://tfl.nu/xw9t
  Replies (1) Good night (644) Bad night (293)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick

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  (785): U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick http://tfl.nu/it39
  Replies (7) Good night (1400) Bad night (299)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker

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  (651): Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker http://tfl.nu/s38c
  Replies (0) Good night (553) Bad night (362)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  Sex is clearly the solution either way.

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  (608): Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored. (1-608): Sex is clearly the solution either way. http://tfl.nu/07hm
  Replies (2) Good night (1195) Bad night (421)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.

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  (276): My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today. http://tfl.nu/q8u1
  Replies (9) Good night (758) Bad night (326)

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