PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
