There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
