When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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