you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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