I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
