is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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