At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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