yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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