those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
