OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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