just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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