Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
