Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
