i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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