Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You've changed since you got that strap on
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
