You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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