is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
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Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
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My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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