That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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