Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
