Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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