I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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