He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
