You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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